Stress-Free Family Photos in 5 Easy Steps
The honest guide for real families who just want photos they'll actually hang on the wall.
Let me guess. You've been putting off booking family photos for a while now. Maybe it's because the last time didn't go great — somebody cried, somebody refused to cooperate, and you ended up with one usable shot out of forty. Or maybe you've just seen enough stiff, awkward family photos online to convince yourself that's just how it goes.
It doesn't have to be that way. I promise.
I'm Brad Poirier, a portrait photographer based in New Bern, NC, and I've spent years helping Eastern NC families stop dreading the camera and start actually enjoying the experience. The families who walk away with photos they love — the ones that end up framed on the wall, not buried in a phone camera roll — aren't the ones with the most perfectly behaved kids. They're just the ones who showed up prepared.
These are the five things I tell every single family before we shoot. Read them. Share them with your partner. You'll thank yourself later.
Step 01: Mom and Dad — You're Off Duty for One Hour.
Here's something most parents don't realize until they're standing in the middle of a session: the kids are rarely the problem. It's mom and dad who walk in with their shoulders up around their ears, mentally rehearsing the one perfect shot they've been dreaming about. And that energy? Kids feel it immediately.
When I meet with a family, one of the first things I say is: "Normally, mom and dad are in charge. For the next hour, I am." And then I look directly at the parents and say — that statement is actually more for YOU than it is for the kids.
What that means in practice: my whole job is to get every single person in that frame relaxed, connected, and looking great at the same time — and I'm really good at it. When you trust me to do that and just follow my lead, the whole session flows. The families who walk away with the best photos are almost always the ones who fully handed over the wheel, stayed present, and let the experience happen. Your one job is to enjoy it. I'll handle the rest.
The families who are most relaxed in their photos let themselves be directed. That's not a criticism — it's actually the secret. Let your photographer run the room. That's literally what we're here for.
And for what it's worth — this is also why I meet with every family before shoot day. By the time we get to the session, you already know me. I'm not some stranger with a camera telling your kids what to do. I'm basically Uncle Brad at that point, and that changes the whole dynamic.
Step 02: Eat Before You Come. Seriously.
You would be surprised how many sessions go sideways not because of a toddler meltdown but because a parent skipped lunch and is three questions away from losing their patience. Hunger is the silent session killer, and it hits adults just as hard as it hits kids — we're just better at pretending otherwise.
My advice is simple: even if everyone has already eaten a solid meal, throw a snack at them before you walk in the door. A granola bar. Some crackers. A handful of something. It doesn't need to be a whole production — it just needs to take the edge off and give everyone a little buffer to get through the session without hitting empty.
This goes double for teenagers, who will absolutely let you know they're hungry in the most inconvenient way possible. And honestly? I keep snacks in the studio for exactly this reason. But don't rely on Uncle Brad's snack drawer as your plan A. Come fed. Come happy. The photos will show it.
Timing matters here too. Try not to schedule your session right around your family's normal dinner time. That window when everyone is winding down and waiting to eat is not the window you want to be in front of a camera.
Step 03: Don't Sandwich Your Session Between Two Other Things.
I can't tell you how many times a family has walked in the door already frazzled — fresh off a soccer game, still in the wrong shoes, forty-five seconds to spare — and I can see it in their faces before I even pick up a camera. That go-go-go energy doesn't just disappear the second you walk into a studio. It lingers. It's in your jaw, your shoulders, your eyes. And cameras catch all of it.
Your family photo session is not just another errand to check off the list. It's the thing you're going to hang on your wall. It deserves a little breathing room around it.
Whenever possible, give yourself a relaxed window. Don't come straight from a birthday party, and don't schedule dinner reservations forty-five minutes after. Let there be some white space before and after. Show up a few minutes early. Sit in the parking lot for two minutes if you need to. Take a breath. Let everyone settle.
The families who look the most relaxed in their photos almost always had a calm day leading up to it. That part is completely within your control — and it costs nothing.
Step 04: Matching Outfits Aren't About Being Instagram Perfect.
The most searched question around family photo outfits isn't "what should we wear" — it's about avoiding the awkward. And honestly, a lot of that awkward comes from families where everyone showed up doing their own thing visually. One kid in stripes, one in camo, dad in his favorite faded tee, mom the only one who read the brief. The eye doesn't know where to land, and the photos feel scattered even when everyone is smiling.
I know the matching outfit thing can feel a little cheesy. Nobody wants to look like they tried too hard or like they're performing some version of family life that doesn't actually exist. But that's not what coordinating is about.
When a family coordinates their clothing, something happens in the photos that's hard to explain but impossible to miss. They look cohesive. They look like they belong together. There's a visual harmony that reads as warmth and connection — not perfection. It's the difference between a group of individuals who happen to be in the same photo and a family that clearly moves through the world together.
You don't have to match exactly. Coordinating within a color palette works beautifully. Stick to a few complementary tones, avoid busy patterns or logos, and let the focus be on your faces rather than your outfits. The best family photo clothing ideas are always the ones where you remember the people, not what they were wearing.
Think of it less as a costume and more as a jersey. You're all on the same team. Dress like it.
Step 05: When the Kids Need a Break, Take the Break.
Here's something I tell every family I work with: this is not a race. I would rather take five minutes in the middle of a session to let the kids breathe than push through and end up with forty photos of kids who clearly did not want to be there.
Kids are people. They get tired. They get overstimulated. They have moments where they just need to run around, eat something, or stare at the wall for sixty seconds. That is completely normal and it does not mean the session is falling apart — it means you have a real kid, which is exactly what you're supposed to have.
When I see things starting to unravel a little, I call a break before it becomes a full meltdown. We step outside. I pull out a snack. We talk about something completely unrelated to photos. And then we come back fresh. More often than not, some of the best shots of the whole session happen right after a break — when everyone has exhaled and stopped trying so hard.
What makes a great family photo isn't a perfectly timed pose. It's a real moment between real people who are actually enjoying being together. A five-minute reset can be the difference between forced smiles and genuine ones. Give the process the time it needs. I promise it's worth it.
The Bottom Line
Awkward family photos don't happen because you have a wild kid or a camera-shy partner. They happen when families walk in unprepared, stressed, and trying to control something that works better when you just let it breathe.
The families who end up with photos on their walls — not just on their phones, not in a forgotten folder, actually framed and hanging where they can see them every day — are the ones who trusted the process. Showed up fed and rested. Gave themselves a little time. Coordinated their outfits. And handed over the reins to someone who does this every single day.
That's what I'm here for.
If you're in Eastern NC and you've been thinking about booking family photos — whether it's a full portrait session, maternity, or senior photos — I'd love to hear from you. Come find me at bradpoirierphotography.com, or just Google "Brad Poirier New Bern." I'll be there.
